Health Anxiety and the Spiral of “Dr. Google” to an Actual Lymphoma Diagnosis

What I Thought Was Anxiety Turned Out to Be Cancer

“I spent months trying to calm myself down… when what I really needed was a biopsy.”

For most of my adult life, I’ve dealt with health anxiety — the kind that turns every twinge into a search term, every new symptom into a rabbit hole on Reddit. I’ve always been self-aware about it, even laughed it off at times. But in early 2025, something shifted. I was no longer just anxious. I was sick. And I didn’t know it.

This is the story of how my body tried to tell me something was seriously wrong, how my anxiety made me doubt myself, and how I was eventually diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at age 37.

🚩 It Started Like Every Other Spiral…

It began the same way health anxiety always does: with a strange symptom and a search bar.

• I felt dizzy when standing — weak, lightheaded, and shaky.
• I had episodes of what felt like POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), but I wasn’t diagnosed.
• My heart would randomly race out of nowhere — scary, fluttering palpitations that sent me into panic attacks.
• Sharp, stabbing chest pain would strike once or twice a month — enough to stop me mid-step and make me question everything.
• I woke up every morning groggy, foggy, and unlike myself. I didn’t feel “okay” until late afternoon.
• I had dark circles under my eyes no matter how well I slept.
• I tried electrolytes, multivitamins, more rest, and less caffeine.
• And yet, I was starting to look sicker and feel weaker by the week.

Still, I told myself: “It’s anxiety. You’re fine. You’ve Googled your way into another spiral.”

💻 Reddit, Forums, and Self-Doubt

I lived in the Reddit health threads. I searched:

• “Heart palpitations in 30s female”
• “Dark circles and dizziness”
• “Is this POTS or just anxiety?”
• “Groin lump female not painful”
• “Can anxiety cause stabbing chest pain?”

And every time, I would find someone else who sounded like me — and the comments would say the same thing: “It’s probably anxiety. You’re too young for cancer.”

So I believed it… until I couldn’t anymore.

🧠 The Body Keeps the Score

Deep down, my body was screaming. I was visibly declining, even though bloodwork looked “okay.” I began to feel:

• Unrecognizable in the mirror
• Disconnected from my normal energy
• Overwhelmed by tiny tasks
• Haunted by the idea that something big was being missed

But even with all of that, the only thing doctors and friends could see was a stressed-out mom with a history of anxiety.

🔍 The Symptom That Changed Everything

Eventually, I found a hard, fixed lump in my groin that didn’t go away. It wasn’t painful. It wasn’t inflamed. It was just there — and growing.

This was different. And this time, I pushed.

I asked for imaging. I pushed for a biopsy. And I got my answer:

Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma, Non-Germinal Center subtype — a fast-growing, aggressive cancer that had already spread beyond that one lymph node.

I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t imagining things. I was sick and had been for a long time.

❤️ What I Want Every Woman with Health Anxiety to Know

You can have health anxiety and a real medical condition.
You can Google too much and still be right.
You can look “fine” and still be seriously ill.

Anxiety doesn’t invalidate your intuition. It doesn’t disqualify you from care. You deserve to be taken seriously — even if you’ve cried wolf before. This time might be different. Mine was.

What Helped Me Shift from Spiral to Action:

• I tracked symptoms in a journal, not just mentally
• I asked for specific tests — not just reassurance
• I stopped apologizing for being worried
• I brought someone with me to appointments to advocate
• I remembered: Even if it’s anxiety, I still deserve answers

Final Thoughts

I still live with anxiety. But now, I also live with cancer.
And I wish someone had told me: You can have both.

If you’re stuck in the “Dr. Google” spiral and something keeps nagging at you — please, don’t dismiss it. Ask for the scan. Push for the test. You’re not overreacting. You might just be saving your own life.